


Time

by Nova_Shadowtail



Series: Stride By Stride [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Awesome May Parker (Spider-Man), Awesome Pepper Potts, Gen, Harley Keener is a Good Bro, I dont know how to tag, Parent Pepper Potts, Pepper Potts Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is a Mess, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Protective Pepper Potts, Worried May Parker (Spider-Man)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 11:13:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20208808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nova_Shadowtail/pseuds/Nova_Shadowtail
Summary: “You can rest now.”Peter watches in horror as Tony’s eyes close and his arc reactor shuts off. His eyes fill with tears when he hears Tony’s heart stop and his breathing go silent.No. He thinks. Please, no.Pepper nods at Rhodey and he lets go of Peter, who takes a step forward. He makes it about 2 steps before his legs give out and he collapses on the other side of Tony. He slowly reaches out and puts a shaky hand over Tony’s arc reactor. It’s still warm, and he thinks he can see a faint blue light.No. He thinks. There's no light. There won’t be light ever again.“No,” He whispers, his voice cracking, “Please don’t go Tony.”ORMy take on Post-Endgame with more angst, whump, fluff, and feels.





	Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Danielle Hensley](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Danielle+Hensley).

> Hey guys! So a few things I should say. 1) Characters might be OOC because I'm like that 2) I don't know how long it will take me to update so please be patient 3) I just needed to write this because I hated Endgame and I need closure 4) All chapter names and story titles are based on Stride By Stride by Blixemi
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“You can rest now.”

Peter watches in horror as Tony’s eyes close and his arc reactor shuts off. His eyes fill with tears when he hears Tony’s heart stop and his breathing go silent.

No. He thinks. Please, no.

Pepper nods at Rhodey and he lets go of Peter, who takes a step forward. He makes it about 2 steps before his legs give out and he collapses on the other side of Tony. He slowly reaches out and puts a shaky hand over Tony’s arc reactor. It’s still warm, and he thinks he can see a faint blue light.

No. He thinks. There's no light. There won’t be light ever again.

“No,” He whispers, his voice cracking, “Please don’t go Tony.”

Peter slowly leans forward and places his forehead against Tony’s shoulder. His hands move to grip the Iron Man suit. He feels tears fall down his cheeks and he knows that everyone is staring at him but he can’t bring himself to care. His hero, his mentor, his father, just died.

“Please Tony. Please don’t go. Come back. Please come back,” He sobs, moving his face from Tony’s shoulder to his neck. His breathing is speeding up and he knows he’s edging towards a panic attack.

Pepper looks over at him and reaches for his arm. When he feels her touch him, he pulled away from her, shaking his head. She gets up and moves over next to Peter.

“You need to breathe,” Her voice is quiet but steady. Peter tries to take a deep breath but before he can get any air he starts choking.

Pepper gently pulls him away from Tony and on to her lap, holding him against her chest, “Deep breaths Peter. It’s okay.”

Peter shakes his head because no, it won’t ever be okay again. He buries his face into Peppers shoulder and screams. He screams for Pepper because she just lost her husband. He screams for Rhodey because he just lost his best friend. He screams for the years they won’t get to have with Tony. He screams for the world. He screams for everyone who knew Tony. And he screams for himself.

After a few seconds, he feels something dripping on his head. A moment later, Peppers' face is buried in his hair and her body is shaking. Peter cries and screams until his throat is sore and he can’t anymore. His cries and screams slowly get quieter and quieter as Peter tires himself out more and more. He eventually stops screaming and his cries turn into silent but constant streams of tears rolling down his cheeks. He keeps his face buried in Pepper’s shoulder when he feels her shift, and suddenly he is being lifted up.

He is about to move and stop playing possum when he hears hushed voices above him.

“You want me to get him, Pepper?” He hears Rhodey ask.

Pepper must have nodded because he feels a pair of strong arms grab him and Peppers' arms disappear.

“Poor kid-” Peppers voices fades out for a moment, “- lost so much already.”

“-so sorry Pepper.”

“-n’t deserve this.”

Peter feels sleep pull at him as the voices fade in and out. As much as he wants to stay awake, he knows he can’t and lets sleep drag him into the dark.

+++

“Peter? Can you hear me, baby?”

A voice breaks through the darkness. Peter recognizes that voice but can’t remember who it belongs to. He fights against the darkness trying to pull him down, letting out a groan he opens his eyes. 

His vision is blurry, but he can make out the figure of a person next to him. The person reaches out and gently caresses his cheek before moving their hand into his hair.

His vision finally clears and he can finally see who the person is.

“May,” Peter whispers, voice cracking.

May lets out a sob and caresses his cheek with her knuckles, “Hi baby.”

Peter slowly sits up and reaches his arms out towards May. She immediately moves closer to him and envelops him in a hug. Peter buries his face into her neck and feels tears burn in his eyes.

“I missed you so much, Peter. When Tony came by and told me what happened, I didn’t know what I was going to do. You were the last person in my life and I thought you were gone forever. But then he contacted me a few days ago and told me that there was a way they could get you back, get everyone back. I was so happy. I thought I could get you back and everything would be okay. I even agreed to let Tony and Pepper co-parent you. Everything was going to be perfect…..But then the fight happened and,” She paused and took a deep breath, “I’m so sorry Peter. I know how much he meant to you.”

The waterworks started again, and May held Peter tighter as he sobbed.

Many questions were running through Peter’s mind. When did May get on a first-name basis with Mr. Stark? When did May meet Pepper? What happened to May after he died? Is May still in the same apartment? How often did May and Mr. Stark talk? How often did they talk about him?

There were so many questions running through his head, he could’ve asked any of them, but there was something he had to say. He had to tell May.

“I never got to tell him that I thought of him as a father. I never got to tell him that I loved him. I never-”

May interrupted him, “He knew baby. I promise you he knew.”

“H-How, I never told him.”

May held him tighter, “I told him. I knew you thought of him as a father, I knew you loved him. I knew you would’ve wanted me to tell him.”

Peter felt more tears coming and he clutched May tighter, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, baby.”

Peter pulled away from May and wiped away his tears, “What was his reaction.”

May’s expression softened, “He cried, Peter. He cried because he thought of you as his son. He loved you like his son. And he was so happy that you thought of him as a father.”

Peter’s eyes grew wide, and for what felt like the millionth time, tears came to his eyes. He smiled, actually smiled, for the first time since he came back. Tony loved him. He actually loved him. His happiness didn’t last long though, because a few moments later someone knocked on the door, and Peter was reminded why they were having this conversation.

“Come in,” May said to the person behind the door.

Peter looked over when the door opened. Pepper stood there, her eyes were red and her hair wasn’t as neat as normal. She wore a red shirt, the same red as the Iron Man suit, and black leggings. He gave her a small smile and wiped away his tears.

May stood up and walked over to her, giving her a quick hug before exiting the room.

Pepper walked over to him and sat down on the bed where May was a few seconds ago. She smiled at him and put her hand over his.

“How are you holding up?” She asked him.

He swallowed hard, “Not well.”

Pepper sighed and squeezed his hand, “Me neither.”

Peter looked away from her as a tear fell down his face. Pepper reached up with her hand and wiped it away, turning Peter’s face so he could look at her while doing so. He bit his lip when they made eye contact, forcing back a sob.

“I’m so sorry Pepper,” He whispered, “I had the gauntlet, I could’ve-”

Pepper pulled him into her chest and shushed him, “There was nothing you could’ve done. If Tony were here he would tell you the same thing. He knew there was no other way. He knew he was going to have to sacrifice himself. Did he want to? Of course not. He wanted to survive and live a happy life with Me, Morgan, Rhody, Happy, and you,” She paused for a moment, “You’re not the only one who feels guilty, Peter. Everyone does. But Tony wouldn’t want us to feel guilty. He would want us to move on and live life to the fullest. Live long, complete lives because he didn’t have the chance to. So that’s what we have to do. We have to live. For him.”

Deep down, Peter knew she was right. He knew Tony wouldn’t want him to feel guilty, but he couldn’t stop. He had the gauntlet. He could’ve snapped and probably survived. He started thinking about everyone else who had the gauntlet. T’Challa had it. He could've snapped. Peter remembered someone telling him that the Black Panther suit absorbed energy. T’Challa would’ve been fine. Carol had the gauntlet. He saw her destroy Thanos’s ship and fight Thanos with her bare hands. She would’ve been fine. So why? Why did it have to be Tony?

“Why did it have to be him?” He mumbled into Peppers' shoulder.

Pepper shook her head, “I don’t know.”

+++

The funeral was held a few days later. It was a private funeral, only having about 34 people in total. Pepper wanted to make it as small as possible. There would be a bigger, fancier “funeral” later on so that anyone could be there to mourn the loss of their hero. But for now, nobody except friends and family were allowed.

Peter walked down the steps the morning of the funeral, looking around the house at the familiar faces. Rhodey and Happy sat on the couch, watching Morgan color on some paper.

He had been introduced to Morgan the day after the fight. (Most of the previous day was spent crying in bed.) Morgan reminded him so much of Tony that he almost retreated back to the guest room when he saw her. Her dark brown hair was the same color as Tony’s, and her smile could brighten the world just like his. And her eyes. God, she definitely had her father's eyes. The first time Peter looked into them he felt tears come to his eyes. Morgan, of course, being the kid that she is, wiped his tears away and told him not to cry.

“I’m sorry,” Peter apologized after she wiped away his tears, “It's just…..You have your father's eyes.”

“I get told that a lot,” She replied simply, and that was that. Morgan took a liking to him, and vice versa. It was hard for Peter not to like Morgan Stark. The way she babbled on with the utmost confidence reminded him of Tony and the way she took control of every situation reminded him of Pepper.

He looked away from Morgan, shaking the memory away and looking the other way. Pepper stood in the kitchen with May, dabbing her eyes occasionally with a tissue while May rubbed her arms to comfort her. It looked like May was speaking quietly, and whatever she was saying must have been working since Pepper’s tears seemed to be slowing.

May was always good at comforting people. Peter knew that from experience. After Ben’s death, she spent the moments she wasn’t mourning comforting others. “Others” mostly consisted of Peter, who spent most of the 2 weeks after Ben’s death hiding away in his room, refusing to come out.

When May noticed him she said something to Pepper and walked over, giving him a quick hug.

“How are you doing baby?” She asked. She’s been asking him that a lot the past few days.

“I’m fine,” It was always the same answer. He didn’t know what else to say. He was obviously not fine, but he wouldn’t admit that out loud.

May smiled sadly at him and hugged him again, “People are going to start showing up soon. Pepper said it might be best to stay by me when they do, okay?”

Peter nodded, letting go of her and glancing back over towards Morgan. He wondered how she was doing. May squeezed his shoulder and went back into the kitchen. He was expecting her to continue talking to Pepper and was surprised when the latter was not in the kitchen.

He froze when he felt a presence behind him, but relaxed again when Pepper’s familiar orange hair fell into his view.

“You can go over there if you want,” She spoke softly like she didn’t trust her voice.

He turned around to face her, “What do you mean?”

She didn’t look at him, “Over to Morgan. I know you want to. I won’t stop you. She probably would like to have you around today.”

Pepper swallowed hard, and Peter nodded. He turned towards the living room where Morgan was still coloring. Rhodey and Happy were nowhere to be seen. He took a deep breath and walked over, sitting himself down on the floor across from her.

“Hey Morgan,” He spoke quietly.

She looked up at him, “Hi Peter.”

“What’re you drawing?”

She picked up the paper and held it out to him, “Iron Man.”

Peter smiled sadly as he took it. It was indeed Iron Man. The red and gold blobs formed the shape of the Iron Man armor and she had even added a little blue for the arc reactor. Tears would’ve pooled in his eyes if he had any left, “It looks good Morgan,” He paused, “Can I draw something too?”

Morgan nodded and he handed back her paper. She took it and continued coloring. Peter picked up a piece of paper from the pile on the floor and placed it on the kid table. He looked around the floor and looked for a pencil. When he didn’t find one he picked up a blue colored pencil and started sketching lightly on his paper.

He didn’t know how much time had passed, but he had almost finished his first sketch when Morgan spoke up.

“I miss daddy.”

The statement took Peter by surprise and he stopped coloring for a moment.

“Me too.”

He continued coloring again. He saw Morgan shift out of the corner of his eye. He assumed she was getting another color.

“The ones who love us never really leave us, you can always find them...in here,” Morgan says a couple of seconds later, pointing at her heart.

Peter looked up, confused as to why a 4-year-old just quoted Harry Potter.

“That was daddy’s favorite line from Prisoner of Askaban. He said it a lot when he was talking about you,” She stated after realizing Peter’s confusion, “Did you love my daddy?”

Peter swallowed hard, “Yeah,” he clears his throat, “Yeah I did. I still do now.”

Morgan looks up at him, “Me too.”

She sets down her colored pencil and moves over to Peter, sitting in his lap and hugging him. He sets down his pencil and hugs her back. They stay like that for a while before Pepper comes in in search for Morgan. 

She walks over to them and picks Morgan up out of Peters lap, kissing her forehead before turning to Peter, “May’s outside. Everyone is starting to show up. It would be best if you stay with her.”

Peter nods and stands, following Pepper outside. A lot of people were already there. He recognized the guardians and some of the avengers who had come. He found his way over to May and stuck by her until the service.

May hugged Pepper and Morgan once more as they walked over to the dock, and Morgan turned to her mother as they walked.

“Can Peter stand by me?” She asked, and Peppers' face fell.

“I’m sorry baby. He’s going to stand back here with his aunt. You can see him again after this is all over though, okay?”

Morgan looked disappointed but nodded anyway. Pepper took her hand and they walked to the end of the dock, Rhodey and Happy behind them.

Peter somehow didn’t cry during the service, though he came close when Pepper placed Tony’s arc reactor in the water. He held himself together when he heard Pepper let out a sob, and he held himself together when he heard Morgan start to cry as well. He doesn’t know how.

Everyone started to scatter after that, Tony’s close friends and family going inside, and the others moved around outside, all mourning in different ways. He saw Steve standing by the lake shedding silent tears. He saw the guardians off to the side, all looking guilty. He saw Thor and Bruce behind Steve, also shedding silent tears. He looked over at the empty dock and decided to go say his goodbyes now.

He walked away from May and over to the dock, sitting on the edge so that his feet were almost in the water. He sat there for a moment, watching the arc reactor floating along the surface of the lake.

Before he could say anything, Peter heard Mays footsteps behind him and he turned around.

“Pepper wants you to come into the house. She says Tony left a final message and she wants you to hear it.”

Peter shook his head, “I can't ...I don’t think I can handle hearing his voice again.”

May sat down next to him, “I’ll be right with you the entire time. I promise. And it’s okay to cry. You know that.”

“I know,” his voice was quiet and broke on the second word.

“C’ mon,” May pulled him up and they walked towards the house. Peter swiped at his eyes, trying to force tears down.

He took a deep breath and walked inside, freezing when his eyes landed on the paused hologram of Tony sitting in a chair, staring directly at him.

May’s body pressed against his back urging him forward, “It’s okay, Peter. I know this is hard.”

Pepper appeared in front of him suddenly, “Tony would want you to watch this. You were his family, more than you know,” She noticed the broken look on his face and pulled him into a hug, whispering in his ear, “You can leave if it’s too much. I understand. He would too. Nobody is going to judge you if you can’t handle it.”

He nodded in thanks and Pepper pulled away, taking her spot. Peter and May stood towards the back so Peter could slip out if he needed to. Happy looked at him briefly and gave him a sad smile.

Pepper started the recording, and Peter was out of the room before the first sentence ended. He didn’t want to leave. He wanted to stay. But he couldn’t handle seeing his mentor talking, he looked so alive, so real. He had to get out.

He walked through the door, May on his heels. She shut the door quietly behind them and pulled Peter in for a tight hug. He could still hear the recording, which he was grateful for, but he couldn’t see Tony.

May held him through the whole recording, and she held him after it was over. They went back up into the guest room after everyone had left the living room and both cried silently on the bed.

May fall asleep next to Peter, her arms still around him. Peter was tucked into her side, tear tracks still visible on his cheeks. That’s how Peppet found them when she came in after putting Morgan to bed.

She walked over and kissed Peter on the forehead, “He loved you 3000 too,” She whispered, before slipping out of the room.


End file.
